Not Technical Enough

A few months ago, I wrote about struggling with impostor syndrome¹. Since then, I’ve read articles and blog posts that say we shouldn’t call it a syndrome, it’s all in our heads, it’s really just gender bias, and other various things. It seems that impostor syndrome itself is under attack!

But whether we call it impostor syndrome or something else entirely is beside the point. I bet everyone has had at least one moment in their life where they felt they weren’t good enough, didn’t measure up, that expectations were higher than abilities, or some other form of self-doubt.

For me, one moment where this was especially true was when my boss told me I “wasn’t technical enough”.

As a woman, and as a quality engineer, this is a pretty standard stereotype and reeks of bias. Men think women are less technical. Developers think quality engineers and testers are less technical.

And yet, despite the stereotypical nature of the comment, I felt very exposed.

I am not a coder. There. I said it. I can code, but honestly, it’s not what I do on a daily basis, and it has never been my primary role at work.

Am I technical? Hell yes!

The irony of the situation here is that I was, in fact, as technical if not more technical than the boss (VP of Engineering) who said this to me. I knew more about our products, system architecture, internal tools, and automation.

She (yes, it was a female boss that said this to me) mentioned that this was not necessarily her opinion, but the opinion of my peers. She suggested I “ask around” to see who said it and why. (I could write heaps about why this is terrible feedback and a terrible way to deliver feedback, however, that is not today’s topic.)

Regardless, I took her advice and asked some of my peers. Here are some paraphrased responses:

“I’m baffled by the question. You’ve come across as knowledgeable and technically competent in all our interactions.”

“Your technical advice on the direction of automation has been invaluable.”

“Of course she’s not technical.” — one person mistakenly thought I was asking if our boss was technical. When I clarified I was asking about myself, he laughed and said something like, “Don’t listen to her, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

And yet, now it was stuck in my mind. I kept wondering if this was what was holding me back, if this was the source of all my problems. Was I blowing it way out of proportion in my mind? Probably. But at the time, it felt like a real issue.

It’s hard (for me, at least), not to spiral out of control for a bit when confronted with negative feedback. It was also hard to process this specific feedback without examples and context. I was at a loss as to how to improve, because I had no idea what actually needed improving.

Today, I am able to recognize, that at that moment, at that place in my career, I was technical enough. And let’s be honest — what does it even mean to be technical enough? Are we talking about pure coding skills? Knowledge of the system architecture? The deployment pipeline and processes?

If you are doubting your worth or feeling less than, start with definitions. Only then can you truly measure.

In my instance, what defined technical enough? Did I need to know how to extend our automation framework? Did I need to be able to write extensive amounts of code? No, that wasn’t my job.

Did I understand how our backend systems worked and fit together? Did I know how to test a web service? Could I debug an issue to determine if it was a backend or client bug? Did I know enough about all the pieces of our system and our automation frameworks to drive improvements in coverage, speed, and ease of testing? The answer to all of those was yes.

Do I still sometimes ask myself if I’m technical enough? Yes, but it all depends on context. To some of my friends, I may seem like the most technical person they know. Yesterday, I disassembled my Litter Robot to replace a faulty sensor. Today, I worked on converting one of my blogs to use Eleventy, and went deep into CSS to mimic how it looked with WordPress. (It’s mostly done, so if you’re curious, head over to puppydogkisses.com.) Then I wrote a Python script to take a text export of Kindle highlights and convert them into .csv. To others, this might all seem commonplace or trivial. It all depends on your perspective.

Remember the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover?” Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world where we are evaluated based on merit rather than being prejudged or stereotyped due to gender, job title, or any other superficial label?

Wrapping up, dealing with the whole “technical enough?” question, especially as a woman in tech, really boils down to knowing yourself and understanding the context. Others may prejudge you or quickly apply a stereotype without evidence or facts. All of this taught me this lesson: being “technical enough” varies a lot depending on the situation, what you're doing, and what you aim to achieve. It's all about setting your own goals and meeting them, not living up to someone else's possibly skewed expectations. I’m not saying your boss’s opinion doesn’t matter, but sometimes…it might need a reality check.

I’m sharing my experiences here, not because I’m an expert, or have it all figured out; it's about building a space where we can support and empower each other, and recognizing that there are many ways to be technical.

Let's share experiences and strategies for overcoming these challenges and affirming our competence in the diverse landscape of tech.

Conversation Starters:

• Ever had one of those moments where you doubted your skills because of something someone said? How'd you deal with it?

• How do you define being “technical enough” in your role?

More than technical enough,

Brie

1. Apparently, the internet cannot agree on how to spell this term. I went with “impostor”, after reading this, which says “If you came here looking for a simple answer, go with impostor, but only because that’s the spelling you’ll find recommended in dictionaries, usage guides, and such, which makes it the safer choice.” That said, both are correct!